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ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
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edwad:

#AirplanePickUpLines : nice legs what time do they get the fuck off the back of my chair

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50shadezofcarter:

I text back embarrassingly fast

or three hours later

there is no in between

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moritzsstiefel:

my mom just came into my room and noticed my desktop background and said

“oh that’s so cute i think i recognize it from somewhere did you draw that when you were younger?”

mom

image

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marthemacabre:

reckless-emotions:

gaylucifer:

Sometimes I forget that people on the Internet are actually real people. Like the guy scanning your bananas at Walmart could be the guy who sends you anon hate.

damn you banana man

WHERE’s the banana guy?….

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